Antony and Cleopatra

Here’s where they’ll end up, on the floor. Some of them are leaning already. It won’t take much for them to fall over.

Lepidus is red in the face.

They made him drink the leftover wine usually given to the poor.

Their various personalities grate on one another. Lepidus cries, “No more arguing!” and then when they agree he resigns himself to drink.

Which goes on to impede his judgment.

That’s what happens when you partner with great men but lack their power. I’d rather carry a reed that obviously can’t protect me than a sword I cannot lift.

To be so unimportant in the company of important men is like having a face without any eyes.

This is how they do it, sir: they measure the depth of the Nile, according to certain marks made on the walls of the Pyramid. They know by those measurements if there will be famine or plenty. The higher the Nile flows, the better the harvest. As the river ebbs, the farmer scatters his seeds on the remaining silt. The harvest comes shortly after that.

Do you have unusual snakes there?

Yes, Lepidus.

The Egyptian snake is born when the sun shines on the Nile mud, just like the crocodile.

Yes, Lepidus.

Let’s have a seat and some wine. A toast to Lepidus!

I don’t feel so well, but I won’t stop.

Not until you pass out. I’m afraid you’ll keep going until then.

No, I certainly won’t stop. I’ve heard that the pyramids build by the Ptolemies are splendid. Without doubt I’ve heard that.

(aside to POMPEY) Pompey, could I have a word with you?

(aside to MENAS) Whisper it in my ear. What is it?

(whispers in POMPEY’s ear) Please, captain, leave the feast and let me speak with you privately.

(aside to MENAS) Leave me alone awhile. Where’s the wine for Lepidus?

What does a crocodile look like?

Sir, it’s shaped like itself and is as wide as it has width. It is only as high as it is and moves with its own legs. It lives on what nourishes it, and when the four elements leave it, its soul moves into another body.

What color is it?

Its own color.

It’s a strange snake.

It is that. And its tears are wet.

(aside to ANTONY) Will that description satisfy him?

(aside to CAESAR) That last toast Pompey gave him will take care of him, unless he’s a raging glutton.

(aside to MENAS) Go to hell, sir. Are you still here? Go away! Do what I tell you. Where’s the wine I ordered?

(aside to POMPEY) If any service I’ve done you deserves a favor, get up from your stool and speak with me.

(aside to MENAS) I think you’re crazy!

What is it?

I’ve always had great respect for your destiny.

You’ve served me faithfully. What else can I say? (to the others) Be happy, lords!

Stay away from the quicksand of drink, Lepidus: you’re sinking.

(to POMPEY) Would you like to be king of the entire world?

What are you saying?

Would you like to be king of the entire world? Now I’ve said it twice.

How could that happen?

Just consider it. Though I seem poor, I am the man who will give you the world.

Are you drunk?

No, Pompey, I haven’t had anything to drink. You can be the most powerful man on earth if you dare use your power. Both land and sea are yours if you will take them.

Tell me how.

The three who share the known world are aboard your boat. Let me cut the anchor cable. When we are away from land, cut their throats. Everything that belongs to them is yours.

Oh, you should have done it without telling me! For me to do such a thing would be dishonorable. For you to do it would be good service. You should know that to me, profit isn’t more important than honor, but the other way around. Regret that your mouth betrayed your actions. If you had acted without my knowledge, I would have approved your action later. But now I must condemn it. Give it up and go drink.

(to himself) For this, I’ll never be faithful to your declining fortunes again. A person who wants something but won’t take it when it materializes won’t get the opportunity again.

This toast is for Lepidus!

(to a servant) Help Lepidus ashore . . . I’ll accept it for him, Pompey.

Here’s to you, Menas.

I accept with thanks, Enobarbus.

Fill the cups until they run over.

There goes a strong fellow, Menas.

Why do you say that?

He carries a third of the world. Can’t you see that?

Then a third of the world is drunk. I wish it were all drunk. Then everything would go more smoothly.

Drink up. Liven up the party.

All right, then.

This hasn’t reached the level of an Egyptian feast yet.

It’s getting there. Clink your cups together in a toast! Here’s to Caesar.

I could do without another toast. It’s unnatural. I keep washing my brain with alcohol, and it keeps getting fouler and more muddled.

Live in the moment.

I’d prefer to seize the day. But I would rather abstain from everything for four days than drink so much in one.

(to ANTONY) Ha! Shall we dance Egyptian bacchanals, my noble emperor, and celebrate our wine?

Let’s have one, good soldier.

Come, let’s join our hands until the overpowering wine makes us soft and forgetful.

Everyone join hands. Attack our ears with loud music, and I’ll position you for the dance. Then the boy will sing, and every man will sing the chorus at the top of his voice.

(singing) Come, you king of the vine, plump Bacchus, with your pink eyes. Our troubles are drowned in your vats. We’ll crown ourselves with wreathes of grapes.

(singing) Give us cups until the world spins! Give us cups until the world spins!

How can you top that? Good night, Pompey. (to ANTONY) Dear brother-in-law, let’s leave together. This frivolity isn’t appropriate to the serious purpose that brought us here. Noble lords, let’s say good night. We’ve all gotten red in the face. Even the strong Enobarbus isn’t immune to the effects of wine, and I’m tongue-tied myself. This wild party has almost turned us all into clowns. What more need I say? Good night. Good Antony, shake my hand.

We’ll have a rematch at your feast on shore.

Yes, we will. Let’s shake on it.

Oh, Antony, even if you’ve taken my father’s house, what is that to me? We’re friends! Come, this way to the rowboat.

Be careful not to fall in.

Menas, I’m not going back on shore.

No, come to my cabin. We’ll have the musicians play drums, trumpets, flutes. What do you say? We’ll make Neptune hear us bid a loud good night to these great men. Play and be damned. Play loud!

Hooray, I say. There’s my hat!

Hooray! Come on, noble captain.