Romeo and Juliet

Act 2, Scene 1

Enter ROMEO alone

ROMEO enters alone.

ROMEO

Can I go forward when my heart is here?

Turn back, dull earth, and find thy center out.

ROMEO

Can I go away while my heart stays here? I have to go back to where my heart is.

Moves away Enter BENVOLIO with MERCUTIO

ROMEO moves away. BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO enter.

BENVOLIO

Romeo, my cousin Romeo! Romeo!

BENVOLIO

(calling) Romeo, my cousin, Romeo, Romeo!

MERCUTIO

He is wise,

And, on my life, hath stol’n him home to bed.

MERCUTIO

He’s a smart boy. I bet he slipped away and went home to bed.

BENVOLIO

He ran this way and leapt this orchard wall.

Call, good Mercutio.

BENVOLIO

He ran this way and jumped over this orchard wall. Call to him, Mercutio.

MERCUTIO

Nay, I’ll conjure too!

Romeo! Humours, madman, passion, lover!

Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh!

Speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied.

Cry but “Ay me!” Pronounce but “love” and “dove.”

Speak to my gossip Venus one fair word,

One nickname for her purblind son and heir,

Young Abraham Cupid, he that shot so true

When King Cophetua loved the beggar maid.—

He heareth not, he stirreth not, he moveth not.

The ape is dead, and I must conjure him.—

I conjure thee by Rosaline’s bright eyes,

By her high forehead and her scarlet lip,

By her fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh,

And the demesnes that there adjacent lie,

That in thy likeness thou appear to us.

MERCUTIO

I’ll conjure him as if I were summoning a spirit. Romeo! Madman! Passion! Lover! Show yourself in the form of a sigh. Speak one rhyme, and I’ll be satisfied. Just cry out, “Ah me!” Just say “love” and “dove.” Say just one lovely word to my good friend Venus. Just say the nickname of her blind son Cupid, the one who shot arrows so well in the old story.—Romeo doesn’t hear me. He doesn’t stir. He doesn’t move. The silly ape is dead, but I must make him appear.—I summon you by Rosaline’s bright eyes, by her high forehead and her red lips, by her fine feet, by her straight legs, by her trembling thighs, and by the regions right next to her thighs. In the name of all of these things, I command you to appear before us in your true form.

BENVOLIO

An if he hear thee, thou wilt anger him.

BENVOLIO

If he hears you, you’ll make him angry.

MERCUTIO

This cannot anger him. ’Twould anger him

To raise a spirit in his mistress’ circle

Of some strange nature, letting it there stand

Till she had laid it and conjured it down.

That were some spite. My invocation

Is fair and honest. In his mistress’ name

I conjure only but to raise up him.

MERCUTIO

What I’m saying can’t anger him. He would be angry if I summoned a strange spirit for her to have sex with—that’s what would make him angry. The things I’m saying are fair and honest. All I’m doing is saying the name of the woman he loves to lure him out of the darkness.

BENVOLIO

Come, he hath hid himself among these trees,

To be consorted with the humorous night.

Blind is his love and best befits the dark.

BENVOLIO

Come on. He’s hidden behind these trees to keep the night company. His love is blind, so it belongs in the dark.

MERCUTIO

If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.

Now will he sit under a medlar tree

And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit

As maids call medlars when they laugh alone.—

O Romeo, that she were! Oh, that she were

An open arse, and thou a poperin pear.

Romeo, good night. I’ll to my truckle bed.

This field-bed is too cold for me to sleep.—

Come, shall we go?

MERCUTIO

If love is blind, it can’t hit the target. Now he’ll sit under a medlar tree and wish his mistress were one of those fruits that look like female genitalia. Oh Romeo, I wish she were an open-arse, and you a Popperin pear to “pop her in.” Good night, Romeo. I’ll go to my little trundle bed. This open field is too cold a place for me to sleep. (to BENVOLIO) Come on, should we go?

BENVOLIO

Go, then, for ’tis in vain

To seek him here that means not to be found.

BENVOLIO

Let’s go. There’s no point in looking for him if he doesn’t want to be found.

Exeunt

BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO exit.