Hamlet

Act 4, Scene 2

Enter HAMLET

HAMLET enters.

HAMLET

Safely stowed.

HAMLET

The body is safely hidden.

GENTLEMEN

(from within) Hamlet! Lord Hamlet!

GENTLEMEN

(from offstage) Hamlet, Lord Hamlet!

HAMLET

But soft, what noise? Who calls on Hamlet?

Oh, here they come.

HAMLET

What’s that noise? Who’s calling for Hamlet? Oh, here they come.

Enter ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and others

ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN enter with others.

ROSENCRANTZ

What have you done, my lord, with the dead body?

ROSENCRANTZ

What have you done with the corpse, my lord?

HAMLET

Compounded it with dust, whereto ’tis kin.

HAMLET

I’ve gotten it dirty—ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.

ROSENCRANTZ

Tell us where ’tis, that we may take it thence

And bear it to the chapel.

ROSENCRANTZ

But tell us where it is, so we can take it to the chapel.

HAMLET

Do not believe it.

HAMLET

Don’t believe it.

ROSENCRANTZ

Believe what?

ROSENCRANTZ

Believe what?

HAMLET

That I can keep your counsel and not mine own. Besides, to be demanded of a sponge! What replication should be made by the son of a king?

HAMLET

That I’d take your advice rather than keep my own secret. Besides, you’re a sponge! What is the son of a king supposed to say to a sponge?

ROSENCRANTZ

Take you me for a sponge, my lord?

ROSENCRANTZ

You think I’m a sponge, my lord?

HAMLET

Ay, sir, that soaks up the king’s countenance, his rewards, his authorities. But such officers do the king best service in the end. He keeps them, like an ape, in the corner of his jaw, first mouthed to be last swallowed. When he needs what you have gleaned, it is but squeezing you and, sponge, you shall be dry again.

HAMLET

Yes, sir, a sponge that soaks up the king’s approval, his rewards, and his decisions. Officers like that give the king the best service in the end. He keeps them in his mouth like an ape. First he moves them around, then he swallows them. When he needs what you have found out, he can just squeeze you like a sponge and you’ll be dry again.

ROSENCRANTZ

I understand you not, my lord.

ROSENCRANTZ

I don’t follow, my lord.

HAMLET

I am glad of it. A knavish speech sleeps in a foolish ear.

HAMLET

I’m glad about that. Sly words are never understood by fools.

ROSENCRANTZ

My lord, you must tell us where the body is and go with us to the king.

ROSENCRANTZ

My lord, you have to tell us where the body is, and then go with us to see the king.

HAMLET

The body is with the king, but the king is not with the body.

The king is a thing—

HAMLET

The body’s with the king, but the king’s not with the body. The king’s a thing …

GUILDENSTERN

A thing, my lord?

GUILDENSTERN

A “thing,” my lord?

HAMLET

Of nothing. Bring me to him. Hide, fox, and all after.

HAMLET

A thing of no importance. Take me to him. Ready or not, here I come!

Exeunt

They exit.