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Hamlet

Act 4, Scene 3

Enter King CLAUDIUS and two or three attendants	CLAUDIUS enters with two or three of his attendants.
CLAUDIUS I have sent to seek him and to find the body. How dangerous is it that this man goes loose! Yet must not we put the strong law on him. He’s loved of the distracted multitude, Who like not in their judgment, but their eyes. And where ’tis so, th’ offender’s scourge is weighed, But never the offense. To bear all smooth and even, This sudden sending him away must seem Deliberate pause. Diseases desperate grown By desperate appliance are relieved, Or not at all.	CLAUDIUS I’ve sent men to find him and retrieve the body. How dangerous to have this madman on the loose! But we can’t throw him in jail. The people love him, because they judge based on appearance rather than reason. They’ll pay attention to the severity of the punishment, not the severity of the crime. No, we must seem calm and fair-minded, and our sending him away must seem like a carefully considered move. But a terminal disease requires extreme treatment, or nothing at all.
Enter ROSENCRANTZ	ROSENCRANTZ enters.
How now, what hath befall’n?	So what’s happened?
ROSENCRANTZ Where the dead body is bestowed, my lord, We cannot get from him.	ROSENCRANTZ We can’t get him to tell us where he’s put the body.
CLAUDIUS But where is he?	CLAUDIUS But where is he?
ROSENCRANTZ Without, my lord; guarded, to know your pleasure.	ROSENCRANTZ Outside, my lord, under guard, waiting for your orders.
CLAUDIUS Bring him before us.	CLAUDIUS Bring him to me.
ROSENCRANTZ Ho, Guildenstern! Bring in my lord.	ROSENCRANTZ Hey, Guildenstern! Bring in my lord.
Enter HAMLET and GUILDENSTERN	GUILDENSTERN enters with HAMLET.
CLAUDIUS Now, Hamlet, where’s Polonius?	CLAUDIUS Now, Hamlet, where’s Polonius?
HAMLET At supper.	HAMLET At dinner.
CLAUDIUS At supper where?	CLAUDIUS At dinner where?
HAMLET Not where he eats, but where he is eaten. A certain convocation of politic worms are e’en at him. Your worm is your only emperor for diet. We fat all creatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your lean beggar is but variable service—two dishes, but to one table. That’s the end.	HAMLET Not where he’s eating, but where he’s being eaten. A certain conference of worms is chowing down on him. Worms are the emperor of all diets. We fatten up all creatures to feed ourselves, and we fatten ourselves for the worms to eat when we’re dead. A fat king and a skinny beggar are just two dishes at the same meal. That’s all I have to say.
CLAUDIUS Alas, alas!	CLAUDIUS Oh no, oh no!
HAMLET A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.	HAMLET A man can fish with the worm that ate a king, and then eat the fish he catches with that worm.
CLAUDIUS What dost you mean by this?	CLAUDIUS What do you mean by that?
HAMLET Nothing but to show you how a king may go a progress through the guts of a beggar.	HAMLET Nothing much, just to demonstrate that a king can move through the bowels of a beggar.
CLAUDIUS Where is Polonius?	CLAUDIUS Where is Polonius?
HAMLET In heaven. Send hither to see. If your messenger find him not there, seek him i’ th’ other place yourself. But if indeed you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up the stairs into the lobby.	HAMLET In heaven. Send a messager there if you want to be sure. If your messenger can’t find him, you can check hell yourself. But seriously, if you don’t find him within the next month, you’ll be sure to smell him as you go upstairs into the main hall.
CLAUDIUS (to attendants) Go seek him there.	CLAUDIUS (to attendants) Go look for him there.
Exeunt some attendants	Some attendants exit.
HAMLET He will stay till ye come.	HAMLET No need to hurry, he’s not going anywhere.
CLAUDIUS Hamlet, this deed, for thine especial safety— Which we do tender as we dearly grieve For that which thou hast done—must send thee hence With fiery quickness. Therefore prepare thyself. The bark is ready and the wind at help, Th’ associates tend, and everything is bent For England.	CLAUDIUS Hamlet, I care for you just as much as I grieve for Polonius. For your own protection, I must send you to England at once. So get ready to leave. The ship is set to sail, the wind is favorable, your servants are waiting for you—everything is ready for you to go to England.
HAMLET For England?	HAMLET To England?
CLAUDIUS Ay, Hamlet.	CLAUDIUS Yes, Hamlet.
HAMLET Good.	HAMLET Good.
CLAUDIUS So is it, if thou knew’st our purposes.	CLAUDIUS Yes, you’d think so, if you knew why I was sending you.
HAMLET I see a cherub that sees them. But come, for England. Farewell, dear mother.	HAMLET I know an angel who can read your mind. But okay, off to England! Good-bye, dear mother.
CLAUDIUS Thy loving father, Hamlet.	CLAUDIUS I’m your father, Hamlet—your father who loves you.
HAMLET My mother. Father and mother is man and wife, man and wife is one flesh, and so, my mother.—Come, for England!	HAMLET You’re my mother. When you married my mother, the two of you became one flesh, so if you’re my father you’re also my mother. Come on, off to England!
Exit HAMLET	HAMLET exits.
CLAUDIUS Follow him at foot. Tempt him with speed aboard. Delay it not. I’ll have him hence tonight. Away! For everything is sealed and done That else leans on the affair. Pray you, make haste.	CLAUDIUS Follow him on foot, and get him on board as quickly as possible. Don’t waste any time. I want him out of here tonight. Go now; everything else is ready. Please hurry.
Exeunt all but CLAUDIUS	Everyone except CLAUDIUS exits.
And, England, if my love thou hold’st at aught— As my great power thereof may give thee sense, Since yet thy cicatrice looks raw and red After the Danish sword and thy free awe Pays homage to us—thou mayst not coldly set Our sovereign process, which imports at full, By letters congruing to that effect, The present death of Hamlet. Do it, England, For like the hectic in my blood he rages, And thou must cure me. Till I know ’tis done, Howe’er my haps, my joys were ne’er begun.	And you, dear king of England, if you care about me at all—and you should, since you can still feel the damage that Denmark has done to you in the past and, so, fear and respect us—then you won’t ignore my letters instructing you to kill Hamlet immediately. Do it, English king, since he’s raging like a fever in my brain, and you must cure me. Until I know it’s been done, I’ll never be happy, no matter how much luck I have.
Exit	He exits.