Henry IV, Part II

Act 5, Scene 4

Enter BEADLES, dragging in MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET

BEADLES enter, dragging DOLL TEARSHEET and MISTRESS QUICKLY.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

No, thou arrant knave. I would to God that I might die, that

I might have thee hanged. Thou hast drawn my shoulder out

of joint.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

No, you horrible rogue! I wish to God I were dead, so I could have you hanged. You dislocated my shoulder!

FIRST BEADLE

The Constables have delivered her over to me, and she shall

have whipping cheer enough, I warrant her. There hath been

a man or two lately killed about her.

FIRST BEADLE

The street cops handed her over to me, and she’ll be whipped through and through, I promise. She’s been involved in a couple of murders.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie! Come on, I ’ll tell thee what,

thou damned tripe-visaged rascal: an the child I now go with

do miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst struck thy mother,

thou paper-faced villain.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Pig, Pig! You lie! Come on! I’ll tell you what, you damned flabby-faced moron: if I have a miscarriage now, you’ll wish you’d hit your own mother, you pasty-faced villain!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

O the Lord, that Sir John were come! I would make this a

bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her

womb might miscarry.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Oh God, I wish Sir John would come! He’d make somebody bleed for this. I pray to God that she has a miscarriage!

FIRST BEADLE

If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions again; you have

but eleven now. Come, I charge you both go with me, for the

man is dead that you and Pistol beat amongst you.

FIRST BEADLE

Well, if she does, you’ll have twelve cushions on your couch again. You have only eleven now, since she’s wearing one of them under her dress. I order both of you to come with me: the man that you two and Pistol beat up is dead.

DOLL TEARSHEET

I’ll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will have you

as soundly swinged for this, you bluebottle rogue, you filthy

famished correctioner. If you be not swinged, I’ll forswear

half-kirtles.

DOLL TEARSHEET

I’ll tell you what, you stick-figure; I’ll have you beaten soundly for this. You blue-coated rogue, you filthy, starving correctioner! If you aren’t walloped for this, I’ll swear off skirts.

FIRST BEADLE

Come, come, you she knight-errant, come.

FIRST BEADLE

Come on, come on, you little night sinner, come on.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

O God, that right should thus overcome might! Well, of

sufferance comes ease.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Oh God! I can’t believe that right is overcoming might! Well, challenges build character.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Come, you rogue, come, bring me to a justice.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Come on, you bastard, come on. Bring me to a judge.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Ay, come, you starved bloodhound.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Yeah, come on, you starved dog.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Goodman Death, Goodman Bones!

DOLL TEARSHEET

Master Death! Master Bones!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Thou atomy, thou!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

You skeleton, you!

DOLL TEARSHEET

Come, you thin thing, come, you rascal.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Come on, you thin thing; come on, you lean deer!

FIRST BEADLE

Very well.

FIRST BEADLE

Very well.

Exeunt

They exit.