Henry V

Act 2, Scene 3

Enter PISTOL, HOSTESS, NYM, BARDOLPH, and BOY

PISTOL, HOSTESS, NYM, BARDOLPH, and BOY enter.

HOSTESS

Prithee, honey-sweet husband, let me bring thee to Staines.

HOSTESS

Please, sweet husband, let me come with you as far as the town of Staines.

PISTOL

No; for my manly heart doth earn.—Bardolph, be blithe.— Nym, rouse thy vaunting veins.—Boy, bristle thy courage up. For Falstaff, he is dead, and we must earn therefore.

PISTOL

No, because my manly heart is grieving. Bardolph, be happy.—Nym, rouse your bragging spirits.—Boy, be brave. Falstaff is dead, and we must mourn him.

BARDOLPH

Would I were with him, wheresome’er he is, either in heaven or in hell.

BARDOLPH

I wish I were with him, wherever he is—in heaven or in hell.

HOSTESS

Nay, sure, he’s not in hell! He’s in Arthur’s bosom, if ever man went to Arthur’s bosom. He made a finer end, and went away an it had been any christom child. He parted ev’n just between twelve and one, ev’n at the turning o’ th’ tide; for after I saw him fumble with the sheets and play with flowers and smile upon his finger’s end, I knew there was but one way, for his nose was as sharp as a pen, and he told of green fields. “How now, Sir John?” quoth I. “What, man, be o’ good cheer!” So he cried out “God, God, God!” three or four times. Now I, to comfort him, bid him he should not think of God. I hoped there was no need to trouble himself with any such thoughts yet. So he bade me lay more clothes on his feet. I put my hand into the bed and felt them, and they were as cold as any stone. Then I felt to his knees, and so upward and upward, and all was as cold as any stone.

HOSTESS

Oh, no, he’s surely not in hell. He’s in Arthur’s bosom, if any man ever went to Arthur’s bosom. He died as peacefully as a baby. He departed right between twelve and one, just as the tide was turning. For after I saw him fumbling with the sheets and playing with imaginary flowers and smiling at the ends of his fingers, I knew it was the end. His face was gaunt and he was babbling about green fields. “Now, now, Sir John!” I said. “What’s all this? Cheer up!” And he called out “God, God, God!” three or four times. To soothe him, I told him not to think of God, that I hoped it wasn’t yet time to bother with such thoughts. So he asked me to put more blankets on his feet. I put my hand into the bed and felt his feet, and they were stone-cold. Then I felt his legs, and they were stone-cold, and so I moved upward and upward, and his whole body was stone-cold.

NYM

They say he cried out of sack.

NYM

They say he cried out against sherry.

HOSTESS

Ay, that he did.

HOSTESS

Yes, he did.

BARDOLPH

And of women.

BARDOLPH

And women.

HOSTESS

Nay, that he did not.

HOSTESS

No, he did not.

BOY

Yes, that he did, and said they were devils incarnate.

BOY

Yes, he did. He said they were devils incarnate.

HOSTESS

’A could never abide carnation. ’Twas a color he never liked.

HOSTESS

He could never bear carnation. It was a color he never did like.

BOY

He said once the devil would have him about women.

BOY

He once said the devil would get him because of women.

HOSTESS

He did in some sort, indeed, handle women, but then he was rheumatic, and talked of the Whore of Babylon.

HOSTESS

He did touch on women a bit, but his body was aching with fever and he talked about the Whore of Babylon.

BOY

Do you not remember he saw a flea stick upon Bardolph’s nose, and he said it was a black soul burning in hell?

BOY

Don’t you remember how he saw a flea land on Bardolph’s nose and said it was a black soul burning in hell?

BARDOLPH

Well, the fuel is gone that maintained that fire. That’s all the riches I got in his service.

BARDOLPH

Well, the fuel that sustained that fire is gone. That’s all the wealth I ever earned in his company.

NYM

Shall we shog? The King will be gone from Southampton.

NYM

Shall we get moving? The king will already have left Southampton.

PISTOL

Come, let’s away.—My love, give me thy lips.

Look to my chattels and my movables.

Let senses rule. The word is “Pitch and pay.”

Trust none, for oaths are straws, men’s faiths are

wafer-cakes,

And Holdfast is the only dog, my duck.

Therefore, caveto be thy counselor.

Go, clear thy crystals.—Yoke-fellows in arms,

Let us to France, like horse-leeches, my boys,

To suck, to suck, the very blood to suck.

PISTOL

Come, let’s be on our way. My love, let me kiss your lips. Look after my goods and possessions. Keep on your toes: the rule is “cash down, no credit.” Trust no one. For oaths are as easily broken as straws, and men’s faith crumbles like crackers, and you can only rely on what you can hold onto. Let caution be your guide. Go dry your eyes. Brothers in arms, we’re off to France—like leeches, my boys: to suck, to suck, their very blood to suck!

BOY

And that’s but unwholesome food, they say.

BOY

I’ve heard that’s not the most nourishing food.

PISTOL

Touch her soft mouth, and march.

PISTOL

Kiss her soft mouth, and we’ll be off.

BARDOLPH

Farewell, hostess. (kissing her)

BARDOLPH

Farewell, hostess. (kisses her)

NYM

I cannot kiss, that is the humor of it. But adieu.

NYM

I can’t kiss—that’s just how it is—but farewell.

PISTOL

Let housewifery appear. Keep close, I thee command.

PISTOL

Be thrifty. And keep yourself hidden, I command you.

HOSTESS

Farewell. Adieu.

HOSTESS

Farewell. Adieu.

Exeunt

They all exit.