The Taming of the Shrew

Act 1, Scene 2

Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO

PETRUCHIO enters with his servant GRUMIO.

PETRUCHIO

Verona, for a while I take my leave,

To see my friends in Padua, but of all

My best belovèd and approvèd friend,

Hortensio. And I trow this is his house.

Here, sirrah Grumio. Knock, I say.

PETRUCHIO

Farewell, Verona! I’m off to visit my friends in Padua—particularly my best friend Hortensio. And I think this is his house. Here, you there, Grumio. Knock.

GRUMIO

Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there any man has rebused your Worship?

GRUMIO

Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Has anyone offended your Worship?

PETRUCHIO

Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.

PETRUCHIO

Moron! I’m telling you to make a fist and pound.

GRUMIO

Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir?

GRUMIO

Really, sir, I hardly think it would be appropriate for me to pound you.

PETRUCHIO

Villain, I say, knock me at this gate

And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate.

PETRUCHIO

Moron, here we are at the gate. Now put your fists to work, or I’ll put mine to work on your head!

GRUMIO

My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first,

And then I know after who comes by the worst.

GRUMIO

My master is being difficult. If I do as he asks I think I know which one of us will be sorrier—and it’s not going to be him!

PETRUCHIO

Will it not be?

Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock, I’ll ring it.

I’ll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.

PETRUCHIO

What are you standing there for! If you won’t knock, I’ll ring—and you’ll be singing along in falsetto!

He wrings him by the ears

He grabs him by the ears.

GRUMIO

Help, mistress, help! My master is mad.

GRUMIO

(to the unseen mistress or master of the house) Help, mistress, help! My master has gone mad.

PETRUCHIO

Now knock when I bid you, sirrah villain.

PETRUCHIO

Next time maybe you’ll knock when I tell you, punk kid!

Enter HORTENSIO

HORTENSIO enters.

HORTENSIO

How now, what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio and my good friend Petruchio? How do you all at Verona?

HORTENSIO

Say, what’s the trouble? If it isn’t my old friend Grumio—and my dear friend Petruchio! How’s everyone in Verona?

PETRUCHIO

Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?

Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say.

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, have you come to break up the fight? Con tutto il cuore ben trovato, if I may say so.

HORTENSIO

Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio

Petruchio.—Rise, Grumio, rise. We will compound this quarrel.

HORTENSIO

Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio! Get up, Grumio. We’ll settle this quarrel.

GRUMIO

Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he ’leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful case for me to leave his service—look you, sir: he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so, being perhaps, for aught I see, two-and-thirty, a pip out?

Whom, would to God, I had well knocked at first,

Then had not Grumio come by the worst.

GRUMIO

I don’t care what he told you in Latin. If this isn’t legal justification for me to leave his service, I don’t know what is. He tells me to knock him, pound him, and put my fists to work on him. Well, I ask you, was that any way for a servant to behave toward his master—especially when he’s clearly a bit crazy. I wish I had hit him. I think I’d feel a lot better.

PETRUCHIO

A senseless villain, good Hortensio.

I bade the rascal knock upon your gate

And could not get him for my heart to do it.

PETRUCHIO

He’s a worthless dog, Hortensio. I told him to knock at your gate and for the life of me could not get him to do it.

GRUMIO

Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these words plain: “Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly”? And come you now with “knocking at the gate”?

GRUMIO

Knock at the gate? Oh, for Pete’s sake! Didn’t you clearly say “Knock,” “pound,” and “put your fists to work”? Now you say it was “Knock at the gate”?

PETRUCHIO

Sirrah, begone or talk not, I advise you.

PETRUCHIO

Grumio, either leave or shut up. I’m warning you.

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, patience. I am Grumio’s pledge.

Why, this’ a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,

Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.

And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale

Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?

HORTENSIO

Easy, Petruchio. I’ll vouch for Grumio. It’s terrible—you two fighting! Faithful, funny old Grumio! You guys go way back! Now, my dear friend, what lucky wind blows you in from Verona?

PETRUCHIO

Such wind as scatters young men through the world

To seek their fortunes farther than at home,

Where small experience grows. But in a few,

Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:

Antonio, my father, is deceased,

And I have thrust myself into this maze,

Happily to wive and thrive as best I may.

Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,

And so am come abroad to see the world.

PETRUCHIO

The wind that scatters young men throughout the world, encouraging them to seek their fortunes some place other than home, where there’s little to be found in the way of experience. But to be brief, Hortensio, the situation is that my father, Antonio, is dead, and I have set off into this crazy world to see if I can marry well and make a good life for myself. I have money in my purse and property at home, so I’m off to see the world.

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee

And wish thee to a shrewd, ill-favored wife?

Thou’dst thank me but a little for my counsel;

And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,

And very rich. But thou’rt too much my friend,

And I’ll not wish thee to her.

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, shall I be frank? I know where you can find a shrewish and unpleasant wife. I doubt you’d thank me in the end, but she’s rich, all right, very rich. But you’re too good a friend for me to wish her on you.

PETRUCHIO

Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we

Few words suffice. And therefore, if thou know

One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife,

As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,

Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love,

As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd

As Socrates’ Xanthippe, or a worse,

She moves me not, or not removes at least

Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough

As are the swelling Adriatic seas.

I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;

If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, good friends like us can get by on a few words. If you can find a woman rich enough for me—because money is all I look for in a wife—let her be as ugly as Flotentius’ love, as old as the Sibyl, and as bad-tempered as Xanthippe. It wouldn’t matter one way or the other. I’ve come here in search of a rich wife. If I find a rich wife in Padua, I’ll have found a good wife in Padua.

GRUMIO

(to HORTENSIO) Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses. Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.

GRUMIO

(to HORTENSIO) He’s certainly frank, isn’t he, sir? Give him enough money and he’ll be happy with a puppet, a paper doll, or a diseased old hag without a tooth in her head. If she’s got money, what does it matter?

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, since we are stepped thus far in,

I will continue that I broached in jest.

I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife

With wealth enough, and young and beauteous,

Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.

Her only fault, and that is faults enough,

Is that she is intolerable curst,

And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure

That, were my state far worser than it is,

I would not wed her for a mine of gold.

HORTENSIO

Petruchio, since the conversation’s gone this far, I may as well carry on with what I mentioned purely as a joke. I can help you find a wife who’s rich, young, beautiful, and reared in a manner fit for a gentlewoman. Her only flaw—and it’s a big one—is that she’s unbearable, a total witch, so much so that I wouldn’t think of marrying her myself, not even if I were in a worse fix than I am, not for a whole goldmine.

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, peace. Thou know’st not gold’s effect.

Tell me her father’s name, and ’tis enough;

For I will board her, though she chide as loud

As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.

PETRUCHIO

Hush, Hortensio. You don’t know what money can buy. Tell me her father’s name—that’s all I need. I will go after her even if her scolding is as deafening as thunder in an autumn rainstorm.

HORTENSIO

Her father is Baptista Minola,

An affable and courteous gentleman.

Her name is Katherina Minola,

Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.

HORTENSIO

Her father is Baptista Minola, a pleasant and courteous gentleman. Her name is Katherina Minola, famous throughout Padua for her scolding tongue.

PETRUCHIO

I know her father, though I know not her,

And he knew my deceasèd father well.

I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,

And therefore let me be thus bold with you

To give you over at this first encounter,

Unless you will accompany me thither.

PETRUCHIO

I don’t know her, but I know her father and he knew mine well. I won’t sleep until I see her, Hortensio. So I hope you’ll forgive my cutting short this first conversation of ours—unless you want to come with me.

GRUMIO

(to HORTENSIO) I pray you, sir, let him go while the humor lasts. O’ my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so. Why, that’s nothing; an he begin once, he’ll rail in his rope tricks. I’ll tell you what sir: an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.

GRUMIO

(to HORTENSIO) Please, sir, let him go while he’s in this mood. Lord! If she knew him as well as I do, she’d realize how little effect a scolding has on him. At best she may come up with nine or ten abusive things to call him. That’s nothing. Once he starts on her, he’ll rant and rave on an epic scale. In fact, if she even tries to face him down, he’ll throw out a figure of speech that so disfigures her she’ll have no more eyes to see with than a cat. You don’t know him, sir.

HORTENSIO

Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,

For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is.

He hath the jewel of my life in hold,

His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,

And her withholds from me and other more,

Suitors to her and rivals in my love,

Supposing it a thing impossible,

For those defects I have before rehearsed,

That ever Katherina will be wooed.

Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en,

That none shall have access unto Bianca

Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.

HORTENSIO

Wait, Petruchio, I should go with you. My own “wealth” is in Baptista’s keeping. His youngest daughter, the beautiful Bianca, is the jewel of my life, and he keeps her hidden away from me and other rivals for her hand. Because he finds it so incredible—owing to those character deficiencies I mentioned before—that any man will ever come courting Katherina, Baptista has therefore issued this edict: that none shall be permitted to court Bianca until that Katherine the shrew finds a husband.

GRUMIO

“Katherine the curst!”

A title for a maid of all titles the worst.

GRUMIO

“Katherine the shrew!” That’s the worst thing you can call a young woman.

HORTENSIO

Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,

And offer me disguised in sober robes

To old Baptista as a schoolmaster

Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca,

That so I may, by this device at least,

Have leave and leisure to make love to her

And, unsuspected, court her by herself.

HORTENSIO

Now my friend Petruchio will help me out, presenting me to old Baptista as a schoolmaster for Bianca well-versed in music. I’ll disguise myself in somber robes. In this costume, I’ll be able to spend time with her alone, which will give me plenty of opportunity to court her.

GRUMIO

Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together!

GRUMIO

Oh, very nice! See how the young folks conspire to fool the old folks!

Enter GREMIO and LUCENTIO disguised as CAMBIO

GREMIO enters with LUCENTIO, disguised as CAMBIO.

Master, master, look about you. Who goes there, ha?

Master, master, look! Who are these people?

HORTENSIO

Peace, Grumio. It is the rival of my love.

Petruchio, stand by a while.

HORTENSIO

Hush, Grumio. It is my rival for Bianca. Petruchio, let’s stand over here awhile.

PETRUCHIO, HORTENSIO, and GRUMIO stand aside

PETRUCHIO, HORTENSIO, and GRUMIO stand off to the side.

GRUMIO

(aside) A proper stripling, and an amorous.

GRUMIO

(to the audience, indicating old GREMIO) Check out this stud! What a heartthrob!

GREMIO

(to LUCENTIO) O, very well, I have perused the note.

Hark you, sir: I’ll have them very fairly bound,

All books of love. See that at any hand,

And see you read no other lectures to her.

You understand me. Over and beside

Signior Baptista’s liberality,

I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too.

And let me have them very well perfum’d

For she is sweeter than perfume itself

To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

GREMIO

(to LUCENTIO) Oh, all right, I’ve reviewed the list of books. But listen: I want them very handsomely bound—only books of love, make sure of that in any case. And see that you give her no other lessons. Do I make myself clear? Over and above what Signior Baptista pays you, I’ll tack on a bonus. Take these notes, too. And make sure they’re pleasantly perfumed. The lady they are meant for is sweeter than perfume itself. What are you planning to read her?

LUCENTIO

(as CAMBIO) Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you

As for my patron, stand you so assured,

As firmly as yourself were still in place,

Yea, and perhaps with more successful words

Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.

LUCENTIO

(speaking as CAMBIO) Whatever I read her, you can be sure that I’ll plead the case for your love as strongly as if you yourself stood there before her—and perhaps even a bit more successfully than you would do, sir, seeing as you’re not a scholar.

GREMIO

O this learning, what a thing it is!

GREMIO

Oh, what an excellent thing this learning is!

GRUMIO

(aside) O this woodcock, what an ass it is!

GRUMIO

(speaking to the audience) Oh, what an asinine thing this moron is!

PETRUCHIO

(aside) Peace, sirrah!

PETRUCHIO

(speaking so that only GRUMIO can hear) Silence, boy!

HORTENSIO

(aside) Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.

HORTENSIO

(speaking so that only GRUMIO can hear) Grumio, hush! (to GREMIO, who can’t hear him) God save you, Signior Gremio.

GREMIO

And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.

Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.

I promised to enquire carefully

About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca,

And by good fortune I have lighted well

On this young man, for learning and behavior

Fit for her turn, well read in poetry

And other books—good ones, I warrant ye.

GREMIO

Good to see you, Signior Hortensio. Do you know where I’m going? To Baptista Minola’s house. I promised to look into schoolmasters for Miss Bianca, and luck has led me to this young man, perfectly suited in learning and fine manners, well read in poetry and other books—all of them good, I assure you.

HORTENSIO

’Tis well. And I have met a gentleman

Hath promised me to help me to another,

A fine musician to instruct our mistress.

So shall I no whit be behind in duty

To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

HORTENSIO

That’s great. And I have met a gentleman who promises to help me find a good music tutor to instruct our lady love. I wouldn’t want to fall behind in my devotion to my beloved Bianca.

GREMIO

Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove.

GREMIO

My beloved—as my actions will prove.

GRUMIO

(aside) And that his bags shall prove.

GRUMIO

(speaking to the audience) As his moneybags will prove.

HORTENSIO

Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love.

Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,

I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.

(presenting PETRUCHIO)

Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,

Upon agreement from us to his liking,

Will undertake to woo curst Katherine,

Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

HORTENSIO

Gremio, this is no time to compete over how deeply we love Bianca. Be nice and listen to me a moment, and I’ll give you a piece of news that’s equally good for both of us. (presenting PETRUCHIO) Here is a gentleman I happened to meet who, if we can come to an arrangement that would be to his liking, is willing to undertake to woo fierce Katherine—yes, even willing to marry her, if the price is right.

GREMIO

So said, so done, is well.

Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

GREMIO

That’s good, if he’ll really do it. Have you told him all her faults, Hortensio?

PETRUCHIO

I know she is an irksome brawling scold.

If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

PETRUCHIO

I know she is a hateful, brawling scold. If that’s all, gentlemen, I see no problem.

GREMIO

No? Say’st me so, friend? What countryman?

GREMIO

No? Tell me, friend. Where are you from?

PETRUCHIO

Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son.

My father dead, my fortune lives for me.

And I do hope good days and long to see.

PETRUCHIO

Born in Verona. I’m old Antonio’s son. My father’s dead, and his fortune is mine now. I hope to see good days—and many of them.

GREMIO

O sir, such a life with such a wife were strange!

But if you have a stomach, to ’t, i’ God’s name:

You shall have me assisting you in all.

But will you woo this wildcat?

GREMIO

Sir, such a life with such a wife is unlikely! But if you have the stomach for it, you’ll have all the help from me you need. Do you really mean to go after this wildcat?

PETRUCHIO

Will I live?

PETRUCHIO

Do I mean to go on breathing?

GRUMIO

Will he woo her? Ay, or I’ll hang her.

GRUMIO

He’ll woo her or I’ll hang her.

PETRUCHIO

Why came I hither but to that intent?

Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?

Have I not in my time heard lions roar?

Have I not heard the sea, puffed up with winds,

Rage like an angry boar chafèd with sweat?

Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,

And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?

Have I not in a pitchèd battle heard

Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?

And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue

That gives not half so great a blow to hear

As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire?

Tush, tush! Fear boys with bugs.

PETRUCHIO

Why did I come here if not for that? Do you think a little burst of noise can intimidate me—I, who have heard lions roar? I, who have survived storms at sea where the winds raged like wild animals? I, who have heard the rumble of guns in battle—and thunder in the sky (heaven’s version of artillery). Have I not stood in the middle of a battle, with loud calls to arms, horses neighing, and trumpets sounding all around me? And you worry how I’ll react to a woman’s tongue, which isn’t even as loud as the pop! of a chestnut roasting in some farmer’s oven? Please. Scare children with your bugaboos.

GRUMIO

For he fears none.

GRUMIO

Because he’s not afraid of them.

GREMIO

Hortensio, hark.

This gentleman is happily arrived,

My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.

GREMIO

Listen, Hortensio. I think this gentleman’s arrival could be most fortunate—both for himself and for us.

HORTENSIO

I promised we would be contributors

And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe’er.

HORTENSIO

I promised him that we would all chip in and take care of the wooing expenses, whatever they come to.

GREMIO

And so we will, provided that he win her.

GREMIO

Absolutely—so long as he gets the girl.

GRUMIO

I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

GRUMIO

I wish I could be as certain of a good dinner.

Enter TRANIO brave and BIONDELLO

TRANIO enters, lavishly dressed in gentlemen’s clothes; he is accompanied by BIONDELLO.

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,

Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way

To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

TRANIO

(speaking as LUCENTIO) Greetings, gentlemen. May I be so bold as to ask the fastest way to Signior Baptista Minola’s house?

BIONDELLO

He that has the two fair daughters—is ’t he you mean?

BIONDELLO

The old man with the two pretty daughters? Is that the man you want?

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) Even he, Biondello.

TRANIO

(speaking as LUCENTIO) The very one, Biondello.

GREMIO

Hark you, sir, you mean not her to—

GREMIO

Pardon, sir, I hope you’re not looking for the daughter—

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO)

Perhaps him and her, sir. What have you to do?

TRANIO

(speaking as LUCENTIO) I might be looking for both the daughter and her father. What’s it to you?

PETRUCHIO

Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

PETRUCHIO

But not the woman who scolds, anyway, I hope.

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.

TRANIO

(speaking as LUCENTIO) I’m not a fan of scolds, my friend. Come, Biondello.

LUCENTIO

(aside) Well begun, Tranio.

LUCENTIO

(speaking quietly) Nice work, Tranio!

HORTENSIO

Sir, a word ere you go.

Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

HORTENSIO

Sir, a word before you go. Are you a suitor to the girl we speak of, yes or no?

TRANIO

An if I be, sir, is it any offense?

TRANIO

What if I am? Is there a problem?

GREMIO

No, if without more words you will get you hence.

GREMIO

Not if you go away, there isn’t.

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free For me as for you?

TRANIO

(speaking as LUCENTIO) Well, it seems to me that the streets are as much mine as yours.

GREMIO

But so is not she.

GREMIO

But she isn’t.

TRANIO

For what reason, I beseech you?

TRANIO

And why is that, please?

GREMIO

For this reason, if you’ll know:

That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio.

GREMIO

Because, if you must know, she’s been chosen by Signior Gremio.

HORTENSIO

That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio.

HORTENSIO

Because she’s been chosen by Signior Hortensio.

TRANIO

Softly, my masters. If you be gentlemen,

Do me this right: hear me with patience.

Baptista is a noble gentleman,

To whom my father is not all unknown,

And were his daughter fairer than she is,

She may more suitors have, and me for one.

Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers;

Then well one more may fair Bianca have.

And so she shall. Lucentio shall make one,

Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.

TRANIO

Wait a minute, gentlemen. Be good enough to hear me out. Baptista is a noble gentleman—one to whom my father is not completely unknown—and lovely as his daughter is, she is entitled to any number of suitors—myself among them. The beautiful Helen of Troy had a thousand suitors. Let Bianca have one more—anyway, she’s got one. Lucentio shall join the ranks, even if Paris himself comes to woo her.

GREMIO

What! This gentleman will out-talk us all.

GREMIO

This fellow will out-talk us all.

LUCENTIO

(as CAMBIO) Sir, give him head; I know he’ll prove a jade.

LUCENTIO

(speaking as CAMBIO) Well, let him. He’ll talk himself out, soon.

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, to what end are all these words?

PETRUCHIO

Hortensio, what’s all this about?

HORTENSIO

(to TRANIO) Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,

Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter?

HORTENSIO

(to TRANIO) Forgive me for asking, but have you ever actually seen Baptista’s daughter?

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two,

The one as famous for a scolding tongue

As is the other for beauteous modesty.

TRANIO

(speaking as LUCENTIO) No, but I hear he has two, the one as famous for her scolding tongue as the other is for her modesty and beauty.

PETRUCHIO

Sir, sir, the first’s for me; let her go by.

PETRUCHIO

The first one’s mine, so hands off!

GREMIO

Yea, leave that labor to great Hercules,

And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.

GREMIO

Yes, leave that labor to great Hercules—it’s worse than the previous twelve put together.

PETRUCHIO

(to TRANIO) Sir, understand you this of me, in sooth:

The youngest daughter, whom you hearken for,

Her father keeps from all access of suitors

And will not promise her to any man

Until the elder sister first be wed.

The younger then is free, and not before.

PETRUCHIO

(to TRANIO) Sir, let me be clear. As far as the youngest daughter, the one you were asking about, is concerned, the father refuses any suitors access to her. He will not promise her to any man until the elder sister is married. Then and only then will the younger be free to marry.

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) If it be so, sir, that you are the man

Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest,

And if you break the ice and do this feat,

Achieve the elder, set the younger free

For our access, whose hap shall be to have her

Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) If that’s the case, then you’re the man to help us, me along with the rest. And if you carry it off and break the ice—win the older and make the younger accessible to us—whoever winds up with her will not be such a boor as to be ungrateful, I’m sure.

HORTENSIO

Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive.

And since you do profess to be a suitor,

You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,

To whom we all rest generally beholding.

HORTENSIO

Sir, that’s well said and well thought out. Now, since you count yourself among Bianca’s suitors, you must—as we already have—pay this gentlemen to whom we are all so indebted.

TRANIO

(as LUCENTIO) Sir, I shall not be slack; in sign whereof,

Please ye we may contrive this afternoon

And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health

And do as adversaries do in law,

Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

TRANIO

(speaking as LUCENTIO) I’ll ante up, certainly! And on that note, let’s all pass the time this afternoon drinking rounds to our mistress’ health and following the example of legal adversaries, who fight tooth and nail in court but eat and drink as friends.

GRUMIO AND BIONDELLO

O excellent motion! Fellows, let’s be gone.

GRUMIO AND BIONDELLO

An excellent motion. Let’s go.

HORTENSIO

The motion’s good indeed and be it so.—

Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.

HORTENSIO

I second that motion. So be it. Petruchio, I’m buying.

Exeunt

They all exit.